A few days after legendary singer S Janaki’s funeral, I saw a social media post from singer Shweta Mohan, daughter of the very famous singer Sujatha Mohan. In her post, Shweta had given an explanation (with a disclaimer that she didn’t owe anyone an explanation) for why she was not at S Janaki’s funeral. As per her post, she has been trolled and attacked online by many for her absence at the funeral, especially since she has time and again posted about her close relationship with the late legend. She must have felt persuaded to explain herself, and she did by stating that she is in London for a concert with the maestro Ilayaraja, where they paid honour to S Janaki by incorporating her songs into the concert right after the news of her passing. Shweta ended her post by requesting people online to not hurt her more at this difficult time when she was already grieving this loss. Imagine the level of entitlement in “demanding an answer” for something like this.
A few hours after seeing Shweta’s post, I stumbled upon a post from S Janaki’s granddaughter, Apsara, who had performed the funeral rites. Apparently, this post had been online for longer than Shweta’s post. It’s worth noting that this is a girl who has already lost her father (S Janaki’s son), her older sister, and now her beloved grandmother. Her post was addressing the online trolls who were questioning her “lack of tears” at the funeral – a whole other level of entitlement here. She literally had to ask people to not measure her love for her grandmother based on tears. In posting how her sister, who was even closer to her grandmother, should have been the one to perform the rites and how she finds solace in thinking that they are all together somewhere, I could feel her helplessness, grief, and seething fury at being the target of such an unfair and heartless accusation.
That got me thinking that this entitlement that people online have in wanting celebrities to say or do exactly what they want to hear or see has become so malicious over the past decade or so. I first noticed this when actor Kalabhavan Mani died many years back, something which I have already written about as part of an older blog. People online questioned the lack of online tributes from fellow actors and, if at all there were posts, the time taken after the news of death for them to post it, equating a delayed post as their lack of care and what not.
Even during other celebrities’ deaths, I have always seen a voyeuristic and rather sadistic pleasure in keeping tabs on who all came, who all didn’t (as if mandatory attendance is something every celebrity should record no matter which part of the world they are at the time), whether the people who came were smiling at any point during their visit and thus “disrespecting the dead,” whether they cried enough to satisfy the thousands of cameras zooming in on them, and so on. As seen in Apsara’s case, even family members are not spared from this judgement. I have seen many instances of dead actors’ wives and daughters being ruthlessly trolled for simply wearing a good saree or looking presentable at their public viewing or funeral. For the viewers, grief must mean loud wailing and shabby looks that justify the grief, and anything short of that is reason to accuse a dead person’s own family of not caring enough.
This entitlement applies to everything, not just death. Deepika Padukone chose to celebrate Ranveer Singh, HER HUSBAND, and his movie’s success in their personal space instead of making a social media post to pander to the masses – verdict? She is a pathetic wife who is jealous of her husband. Someone’s birthday wish to their own spouse had only “Happy birthday” in it – verdict? They couldn’t even bother to write a sweet post, and hence, they are heading for a divorce. Priyanka Chopra didn’t say “Free Palestine” along with Javier Bardem at the Oscars – verdict? She is clearly a heartless monster who doesn’t care about the world or its problems. Dhoni did not post anything after the death of Sushant Singh Rajput – verdict? He is so ungrateful and selfish considering how his biopic starring the late actor was a hit. Prithviraj added his wife’s surname “Menon” to their daughter’s name, just like any normal parent would name their child what they want – verdict? He is a casteist prick who should be taught what he should have named his own daughter (he ended up giving an explanation for this, imagine). The list goes on and on and on…
In fact, people’s entitlement is so bad that in expressing this pathetic entitlement, they take on the role of the most important person in the lives of these celebrities. “Our SSR,” “Our Janakiyamma,” “Our Manichettan” – they are all “ours,” “we” know them and love them the most, and the people who actually mattered to these dead celebrities, including their own families, their close friends, their loved coworkers, they are all made to look like outsiders who have to “earn” their rights to call themselves close in any way to the ones they loved. It is “us” who decide whether they were close or whether they cared enough. And if they don’t explicitly put out a post or a show to pander to “us,” “we” have every right to demand answers, accuse them of anything horrible we can think of, and put them in their places. I can only think of one word to define this entitlement – pathetic.
When these huge bunch of jerks will stop being desperate wannabes in pretending that they are the actual insiders and displaying this nauseating entitlement, I don’t know. But they represent the sheer level of stupidity in a major section of today’s people, especially those on social media. It is high time someone told these idiots that being public figures does not mean being public property over which anyone and everyone has ownership to do or say as they please. And that just because these delusional lunatics pay for entertainment, they do not become privileged VIPs. Until then, I hope celebrities stop giving them explanations and making them feel more important.
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Also published on Medium.
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