I’m a person who loves to find my own comfort zone and stay cozy in it. I hate having to encounter any disruptions to my normal life. Don’t mistake me for a person who lives with a set time-table or anything. But I don’t really like much of changes in my life.

By saying that I don’t mean that I don’t adapt to changes like a fish out of a pond. It just means that although I hate having to move out of my comfort zone, I desperately find a new one and settle in there soon. And once I’m settled down there, I find it difficult to move out of it the very same way as before.

The first time I stayed in a hostel was during the last year of my graduation when my Mom went abroad to join my Dad. And suddenly I was thrown out of my first comfort zone – my home. (Moving out of my first home to my second one was a shift in comfort zone to some extent. But then, both homes being at a distance of merely 2 feet, in the same compound, I don’t think it qualifies as a real shift.) Silly as it may sound, I was really really sad at 19 that I was moving out of home. What made it really sad was the realization that I was moving out of my home on a permanent basis then. Because by the time my parents would be back home, I would have completed my graduation and moved on to do my PG, which I was sure wouldn’t be anywhere near home. So technically speaking, second year of graduation was my last year at home. From the next year onwards I was a visitor at my own home.

I still remember the first night at the new hostel, Pius X Convent (yeah, the same one where the Sister Abhaya murder took place). It was a really cozy little room with two beds and to my joy I could see that my room mate had kept it spotless. Now one of my worst nightmares is having to ever live with an ‘unclean’ and untidy person, whether it be a room mate or worse yet, my future husband, whoever it is. Anyway, this particular room mate of mine who was not there for 2-3 days at the time I joined, had kept the room real clean. Before I deviate too much from the topic.. Since I had the room to myself for the day (read, night), I had enough and more time to think on the ‘moving out of home’ process and could cry my heart out all night. The next day I went back home and stayed for the next two days until I was prepared to be an adult about it and go to my hostel without crying like a baby.

I never had to regret once about moving into Pius X Convent because for the next one year I had Rinkle, my roomie, who took care of me in a way even my Mom couldn’t. A real sweetiepie who comes from a closely-knit huge family and brought up in the most perfect way, she was really a Mom-like character who you feel happy to run to with your problems and feel at home with. And with a number of other friends there and at my college which was 5 minutes away from my hostel and my weekly trips to my Dad’s home at Kayamkulam, I was totally “in the zone” there by the end of the year. And when my Mom came back for a break to cover the 3-4 months between my graduation and PG admission, I was totally worried that I’m leaving behind my special room and my sweet roomie.

After settling back at home came my admission to the MBA programme at School of Management Studies, CUSAT. This time I was even more worried about leaving home – not because I was leaving home really, but because I had heard a lot about the brutal ragging in CUSAT. I was damn scared what would happen at the new place and the anxiety cost me 2-3 kilos from my already petite body.

At CUSAT I moved into Aiswarya Hostel, the oldest hostel in the University which unlike the other hostels, had minimal restrictions, no full-time warden, a spacious courtyard in the middle of the building and all the out-laws from the woman population in the whole University. 🙂 If life at the hostel was cool, life at SMS was cooler. 😀 With a bunch of seemingly simple, but in reality, completely crazy guys like Hari, Thanthri, Anoop, Gautham and Ratheesh, I was quick to find my second comfort zone where I could do absolutely anything.

Two years down the lane, I thought leaving CUSAT, my gang of friends there and my dear hostel would be the worst I’d have to face. After all, professional life which was to follow would not be in any way as fun-filled as college days. Or so I thought until a later point of time in my life. Till I joined Poornam. Although I worked for some months with another company initially, the HR opening with Poornam was my first ‘real’ job. This was the place where I realized the truth in the saying “Do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do.” We all did that in Poornam. And the best part was that, as is quoted so many times in the interviews and induction to the freshers, Poornam really was an extension of college. As I had mentioned in one of my previous posts, this place brought back to me all the memories of my college days and gave me some really really memorable times of my life. I didn’t have to wait even a single day to become the insider and shed the fake sophistication I had kept ready for my ‘HR persona.’ What was in store for me at Poornam was 2 years of my professional life where I really could be myself without any inhibitions, among a bunch of some of the craziest colleagues who soon became friends for life.

When I look back I’m surprised myself to see how many friends I’ve made here. It’s almost like I have one thing or the other to remember personally with everyone here. I remember Sanil telling me how bad he would feel thinking of his last day at his seat, sending the last email from his account, the last login to Bugzilla and all, at the time when he was leaving. It was when it came to my last of everything that it struck me hard how much I’m going to miss this place. But for me, the last time was all about people – the last time I’ll sleep on my bed in my room at our Alappat house, the last time I’ll have breakfast with Choppu, Thara and Deepthy, the last time I’ll have dinner with the guys, the last time I’ll sit at the Dev Corner having coffee, making fun of Vijin and gossipping,  listening to endless stories from Geo, laughing out loud making the others spill their tea and curse us, the last time I’ll sit at Appru’s table yelling at Prathyu for his A-certified pathetic jokes (:D), the last time I’ll be standing near the carrom board cheering Christu, Jolly, Vijilal and Santhosh, the last time I’ll run from Kiran to Santhosh to Anil in the Mindsnare sector, much to the irritation of the Alphasquad guys, the last time I’ll embarass Varkkichayan by calling out his name loud enough for everyone in the floor to hear, the last time I’ll see Joku run around on his tractor-like Woodland shoes assigning work to anyone who comes his way, the last time I’ll even get to go upstairs –  the last time of every single thing I’ve done over there.

As I move out of my last comfort zone, my Poornam and my Cochin, where I lived a life of complete freedom and nothing but joys with some of my best friends ever, all I wish for is to come back.. come back to all those times which have slipped out of my hands and hope I won’t find myself a total stranger when I do come back. I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find another comfort zone now.

Guys, I miss you way too much.. Thanks for all the memories..

Also published on Medium.