After months of fighting a battle, I’ve lost, miserably. At last, I’m victim of the K-Matrimony culture. 🙁

It’s embarrassing to see myself in a stupid web page of  a site where it seems anyone and everyone who has completed 18yrs is a member. Especially after all the fights and lectures on why I hate this system, I’m all the more ashamed to see that I am now merely an ID. It reminds me of prisoners being called “Da 110-e” and all. :-/

Worse yet is the ordeal of going through tons of profile links my Dad wants me to go through. I haven’t yet understood what I’m supposed to look at. After all, it’s nothing but a web page where there is a number of photos of a guy from various angles and poses and a lot of check boxes filled in to show the interests, which to me does not make any sense at the moment. All through the process of going through, God knows what, I am asked “So.. How is it? Did you like him?”. And there I am, sitting blank, staring at my Dad’s face like a retard. The only reply I’m able to give is “Err.. I don’t know”. Come onnn.. How do they expect me to answer that question anyway??

Funnier is the reaction to a No from my side. After being asked a million times my “feedback” for a profile, I say a “No.” There is no specific reason for me to say that, other than the fact that I just don’t feel like getting married to some guy from some website. At least not after simply going through his ‘resume.’ Then there is the never-ending stream of “Why a No?,” “Why not a Yes?,” “Why do you think this will not work out?,” “We don’t think No is the right answer” etc. etc. Now, if they did not want to hear a “No,” why would they want to ask me my opinion??? And how on earth am I supposed to convince them on the No, which has got nothing to do with the guy? I don’t even know the guy to judge him and say that he is not good. Exactly the same way, I don’t even know the guy to judge him and say I don’t mind getting to know him and see if we can get married.

After one week of no “shortlists” from my side, my parents started getting furious saying I was being too selective. It seems they never understood I did not even know how to “select” a guy from the lot they sent me. Their solution to the lower numbers was asking me to log in to the site every day for one hour and browse through it to find guys myself. For a person who does not even search for contacts in Orkut or Facebook, they want me to be desperate enough to search for guys on a website!! Shit, shit and double shit!! :'(

Even more pathetic is being told by my Dad (MY Dad), that at 25 the only requests that he gets for me in K-Matrimony are from guys who are either not educated or not employed, and that none of the good ones want to marry ‘a girl like me.’ In his desperation and anxiety of having me married off asap, he tries to push me by telling to my face that I’m no longer considered qualified/eligible to get married. Hehe.. 😛 Probably he believes I will get scared hearing this and will want to marry the next guy who comes my way. And I’m like “Whoops! Did he just tell me that???” I still haven’t figured out whether the awkward silence post this murder of my self-esteem is due to embarrassment or anger. 😀

So to spare myself of more misery, I’ve (like a good girl) started picking 3 profiles similar to a “Best of 3” contest or something, from every batch of profiles my Dad sends. ‘Save energy, save time, shortlist profiles’ is my motto now. 🙂 What happens after the shortlisting is something I haven’t dared to think of yet and I feel for the time being, it’s better left at that.

Also published on Medium.