Every day I come across dozens of trolls or memes depicting the sorry situation of guys who have been “friendzoned”. What makes my blood boil is how they talk as if guys have the sole ownership of this miserable land. They keep fighting with girls to be named the kings of “friendzone”. They keep coming up with fictitious stats to prove that even if there are girls who might have ‘slightly’ been invited to this zone, it is more of a short tour of the zone and never a permanent, miserable stranding as guys go through.

Listen up guys! You are wrong. As much as you would like to paint us as gold-digging witches who squeeze the juice out of you and then dump you for a juicier guy by giving you the “friend” finger, that is so not true. I mean, there are just as many guys who do the subtle or loud leading on and then slaps the sticker “You are a great friend” right across our foreheads.

I can vouch for this because I am a girl who has been quite brutally “friendzoned” in the past. In fact, in one of the most embarrassing episodes ever in the history of “friendzone”, I was pushed into this abyss by a guy I started having a crush on only after the entire population of the district we were in felt that he was in love with me. The ‘for so long single’ me asked the ‘I don’t give a shit about being single’ me – “Why not him?” And suddenly I started giving a shit. After months of “Will he? Won’t he?” I finally got tired of waiting and asked, “Are you going to tell me you like me or not? Because it’s really very obvious.” “Me?? What?? No no no, you are a very good friend. I’ll never have any other feelings for you.” Tadaaaa.. There! I was in the zone.

And you know what I discovered in the zone? I was not the only girl there. So many, so many girls who had made complete fools of themselves danced around me in the joy of finding yet another girl who proved to be an ignoramus.

Dear men, let’s stop fighting about something as petty as who wins this race. It’s not about winning or losing. It’s all about being shameless in trying to crawl out of the zone and participating yet again. So instead of fighting with each other, let’s get together and spend some quality time bitching about those who were happily in a relationship while we were miserable and had no qualms in showing off the ‘looouvvv’ in front of us, lesser beings.

Twist in the story: I ended up marrying my best friend after a failed attempt from both sides to “friendzone” each other. And so, having broken the spell, we live happily ever after. Hahahaaa… Look who has the last laugh! 😀

Also published on Medium.