Major ROFL-worthy bits to look out for from Kerala today:
 
1) CPM – “Yayyy! We won the battle in keeping fascist, communal forces out of the State!! Prabhudha Keralam Zindabad!!”
Subtext: Although we are practically non-existent in the country now, we choose to troll the party which is yet again going to rule with definite majority despite all we did to bring them down in the last 5 years. Instead of thinking, for once, about why we are going extinct and not about the next comical punchline we should immediately bring out. Shamelessness Zindabad!!!
 
2) Congress – “Yayyy! Rahul Gandhi wins in Wayanad with unbelievable majority!”
Subtext: Because we knew there is every chance that he could lose in Amethi, his own constituency. So we chose the safe Wayanad, a constituency that in a Kerala Congress leader’s own words where even a ‘broomstick’ will win if he is from Congress. So much for the INC President winning in Wayanad of all places! 5 more years of denial Zindabad!!!
 
3) Literate, enlightened and absolutely sincere citizens – “Booo! We need a re-election in all the places where BJP won because there definitely has been EVM tampering. And we want paper ballot back!”
Subtext: Do we sound desperate at all in wanting some way to change the verdict? By the way, we really do not wish to have re-election in places where we have video proof of party goons threatening voters to vote for their leaders or even casting fake votes, because apparently that does not kill democracy. And, we will be happy to pay for the re-election from our own pockets. Idiocy Zindabad!!!
 
NB: Dear Narendra Modi & Co, please do not turn your confidence into overconfidence with this win. And please stop talking about Nehru and what Congress has done in the last 60 years. We know how bad they were. We don’t need constant reminders from you anymore. Let’s talk more about what all you have achieved, and not just in the last year of your term. All the best! 🙂