Being a huge fan of the legend Ratan Tata, like every other Indian, I was hooked to articles, reels and news coverage of his life, achievements, death, wake and funeral service for the last three days. But I am not going to write anything about the great soul here—what more could I write about him that hasn’t been written already a million times over by people who loved him all across the nation, really? Like always, my blog is about something completely different, which just happens to stem from an observation I made in these three days. To put it simply, the observation was that people really do think of a smile as nothing but a display of joy when it is far from the truth.
Wondering what this topic has to do with Ratan Tata? It doesn’t. It has to do with the comments I read under the reels. (Yes, I know. I keep breaking the same promise I’ve made to myself time and again to never read through comments.) Anyway, under every reel which had anyone caught with a smile on their face, there would be a hundred comments abusing that person for it. This was despite the clips being hardly 20 seconds in duration, a timespan that in no way is enough to form any kind of impression about a person, especially a total stranger on the Internet. But people being people were quick to jump to conclusions about how the person who was seen smiling was an insensitive ghoul who never cared about the dead person.
Noel Tata, being the next-in-line, and his son were the most attacked—‘Look at his smile. He is happy that Ratanji is out of his way finally,’ ‘Look at him and his son celebrating with a smile,’ ‘Pathetic to see the brother smiling and enjoying when he should at least pretend to mourn the loss’—the comments were never-ending. Close behind Noel Tata came poor Mukesh Ambani and Nita Ambani—‘He is smiling because he is happy that his competition is dead,’ ‘Look how happy they are. Can’t they stop smiling at least here?’ ‘They are still busy smiling for the media and disrespecting poor Mr. Tata.’ I was appalled by the kind of villains these people were made out to be, only because they smiled at someone when they greeted them! And the horrifying explanations and reasons cooked up for it!
I won’t lie, I scrolled through a lot of comments to see just how many people thought like this. The number was huge. And then I realised that I had seen very similar comments under news coverage clips of a few celebrity wakes in Kerala, including that of actor Innocent, former Kerala CM Oommen Chandy and so on. These comments always pointed to people meeting others while at the wake, or standing at a distance and having a private conversation. Almost all of them read ‘They can’t seem to contain their joy even at such a sombre event,’ ‘Don’t these people have any shame standing around talking happily at a time like this?’
That made me realise that this was a very common ‘tool of attack’ on social media, used to shame mostly public figures or their family members and to make them look like insensitive, selfish, rich brats. Like I have written many a time, I can’t help but think that this too stems from a generalised and rather strange hatred towards the rich and successful (however they might be in their personal lives, which doesn’t come into the picture here). This hatred in itself must stem mainly from jealousy and a feeling of insecurity and inferiority. Whichever way, this ‘tool of attack’ is really stupid, much like most of their other ‘tools.’
What is a smile? Is it only an indication or proof that someone is happy? Is it nothing more? Have we not smiled when we were at our worst? Have we not smiled in the most broken stages of our lives? Have we not smiled with tears in our eyes, when happiness was the last emotion on our minds? Every day, around the world, how many people keep lying ‘I’m fine’ with a smile on their faces when nothing is fine with them or around them? Do we not smile at someone as an acknowledgement of their presence, only because it is basic decency? Joy, sadness, loneliness, a sense of loss, nostalgia, just a simple greeting—a smile can be all this and more.
And this obsession with tears, tears and even more tears at a funeral is something I have never understood. No, I am not saying that it is appropriate to stand around and joke while howling with laughter at a wake or a funeral. But to say that every single person there should have tears in their eyes is like saying that tears are the only measure of someone’s grief. Some cry, some don’t. I have seen people passing comments like ‘Not a single tear for her husband! I’m sure she never even loved him’ about a widow, who for all we know might have had gone numb with pain or was trying to stay strong for her children.
Even a close family member or friend smiling at someone as a form of greeting or merely to thank them for coming is not them being insensitive or disrespectful, it is simply them being courteous. And such events being long affairs, how on earth can we blame people for having conversations with those they know and smiling or even laughing briefly in the course of such conversations? Why on earth should we put them under the microscope and pass our judgements?
Seriously, what has the world come to? Judging people and calling them villains for a tiny smile? What’s next? I can’t wait to see. In the meantime, I’ve got only one thing to say to all these online bullies—‘Smile please.’
Also published on Medium.
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